Can you disinherit a child in California?

Yes, you can disinherit a child in California. But you have to say it explicitly — "I leave nothing to my son, Armando" — or the law assumes you forgot.

Something you desperately wish you could do when your kids stop calling. But you probably won't. Because you're not that person. And they know it. That's why they don't call.

What does it mean to disinherit someone?

Literally, it's the act of intentionally excluding someone from your will or trust who would otherwise expect to inherit.

But there's another definition. The one that happens late at night.

After a missed birthday. After a call that never came. After you've left three voicemails and sent two texts and gotten back a thumbs-up emoji.

Or just... crickets. Crickets are louder.

Why do parents think about disinheriting

84. Long retired. Tim has two kids.

His daughter calls every week. Brings the grandkids over on Sundays. Helped him after his hip replacement.

His son? Lives two hours away. Can't remember the last time he visited. Birthdays get a text. Sometimes. Father's Day? A card. Probably from his wife.

Tim started calculating. Not in dollars. In relative weight.

"He didn't call on Father's Day. But she calls every week."

"At least her grandkids FaceTime me. Wonder how a pet trust works."

He's not going to disinherit his son. Probably. But he thinks about it. Late at night.

What happens if you actually disinherit someone?

You can do it. California law allows it. But you have to say it explicitly. "I leave nothing to my son, Armando."

You can't just leave them out and hope they get the hint. The law assumes you forgot. You have to say you didn't.

But here's the thing: disinheriting someone doesn't fix the silence. You don't even get the satisfaction of seeing their reaction to the punishment.

Because you're dead.

If you're thinking about it, call them first. Leave the trust for later. The trust can wait. The phone call can't.

If they still don't pick up... then call me.

What's the risk of getting too specific?

Don't put "because he never calls on my birthday" in your trust.

Armando will take that to probate court with an Excel sheet of phone logs. He'll prove he called. On your birthday. Every year.

You just proved you didn't have the mental capacity to sign your trust.

Stick to your intent. "I intentionally omit my son, Armando." No reasons. No phone logs. No Excel sheets.

Dirty Laundry Tip

Disinheritance is a legal act. But it's also an emotional one.

You can disinherit the person. You can't disinherit the feeling.

Even after they're deleted from the living trust, the feeling stays.

And then you realize... you never called your dad on his birthdays either.

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