Room 407. Dementia. A vigil. A bowl of kimchi.
- May 7
- 1 min read
Mother's Day Edition: A personal story about Mother's Day, dementia and kimchi.
A vigil
For months, four siblings took turns turning two vinyl hospital chairs into a bed. Is this a Korean thing? Is it even a thing?
A 2025 study in Biosystems found that happiness was the strongest emotion dementia patients felt — and that supportive people amplified it. A University of Connecticut study called the love you built before dementia a "relational reserve" you could draw on after diagnosis.
I'd like to think my mom felt happiness. Lots of it. In those last months.
Kimchi
And kimchi. Always kimchi. It announced to everyone in the ward that it was feeding time for the lady in Room 407.
Kimchi. A pleasant smell for my mother. Fifteen years ago, not so much for the staff within smelling distance of Room 407.
Now? You can’t go to a Costco without seeing it.
Does she even know it’s Mother’s Day ?
Maybe not.
She can feel happiness.
She can feel your presence.
She can recognize pleasant smells.
Bring kimchi. Or menudo. Or solyanka. Or amba.
I know what you're thinking: How is he going to turn this into something about estate planning?
I'm not.
I didn't even mention estate planning.
Not once.
My mom would’ve laughed. If she spoke English.
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